Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
