Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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