You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
