Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
