How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Randomize
