We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
