would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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