He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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