good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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