I like to think it a success when the cops are called
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize