he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
