Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
