hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
