It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
