Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
