dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
