i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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