i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
