Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize