I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
