He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just gift wrapped bread.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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