Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
