I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
