why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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