I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize