please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Randomize
