All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
