My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
vagina is talking i cant
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
