Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
