remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
