Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
