Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
