that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
