You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
