marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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