Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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