My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
third nipple confirmed
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
