How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
