You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
