Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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