what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
