I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Randomize
