Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
