when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
