you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
