So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
