3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
