They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
