So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
last night I used snow as a chaser
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
