I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
