Kiss
Puke
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
