your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
