I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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