I love black thongs
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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