We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
