Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize