hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
