That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Drake has all the answers
Randomize
