did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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