Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
