I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think my moral compass just broke
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
