smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
