I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
